Misery of the Night
by Allison Wonderland
Summary: Songfic. All parts up? Based on the movie and the after effects of Joseph's failed proposal. Clarisse and Joseph center.
1. A woman's tears

A/N Well I had this little thing on my mind and thought I would write it down. It's a songfic based on the song "Once Upon A Dream" from the musical Jekyll and Hyde. It is set right after Clarisse turned down Joseph's proposal. Also, I am so sorry that the next chapter of The Winter Visitor is taking so long. I have had writers block for the longest time but now its starting to go away and I should have more time on my hands now till musical starts up. Now onto the fic...

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Clarisse didn't talk much the rest of the day and retired soon after dinner was complete. She kept going on and on in her mind about that days events. God she wished Joseph would speak to her. She loved him, more then life itself. To lose him would be to lose her very soul. She entered her chamber and did what she hadn't done in many years, she started to sob.

"Once upon a dream

"I was lost in loves embrace

It was all too much. Mia would marry and become Queen, have children and perhaps a loving relationship with her husband, something Clarisse had never known. She had only loved once, and now that was destroyed.

"There I found a perfect place

"Once upon a dream.

She remembered when she first realized she loved him. She had been only twenty, he a few years older. There had been a recent threat to the crown and Joseph had nearly died to protect her. It had all blossomed from there.

"Once there was a time

"Like no other time before

It had been touch and go for a while, never sure if they were comfortable with their feelings or if they would have been caught. Their love and friendship grew leaps and bounds in the years after.

"Hope was still and open door

"Once upon a dream

They were never discovered and they soon fell into the comfortable and loving relationship both were yarning for.

"And I was unafraid

"The dream was so exciting.

But now she had screwed it all up. Everything was over. She would die alone and without love.

"But now I see it fade

"And I am here alone

Clarisse collapsed on her bed and began to sob in earnest making her pillow damp along with her face. She hated herself at that moment. For what she didn't know, loving him so much, or for rejecting him, or not being the stoic Queen everyone thought she was.

"Once upon a dream

"You were heaven sent to me

Everything was over. Never could it go back to the was it was before. She was miserable and so afraid of what might come. She got up and went to stare bleakly out of the window, leaning her head against the glass.

"But it wasn't meant to be

"Now your just a dream

She wished she could take it all back, the whole day, her whole life. Oh what she would do differently. She wished she could forget everything. But she knew in her heart that she could never forget the only man she had ever loved.

"Could we begin again?

"Once upon a dream....

Clarisse sunk down to the floor, knees clutched to her chest, tears rolling down her face for what she could never have, letting the darkness that pawed at her sanity take over.

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Ah so sad. I had tears rolling down MY face as I wrote it. Joseph's version of that same night to come. Please let me know what you think.


	2. A man's anguish

The Misery of the Night

Part 2: A man's anguish (Joseph's thoughts)

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It was nearly three o'clock in the morning when Joseph entered his room. He had been wandering for hours. Sleep would never come tonight, he knew that for a fact. The day had been pure hell.

"In the wee small hours of the morning"

Right now he felt as if he was the only person alive, except for the woman he loved, who didn't love him in return. She made that quite clear today.

"When the whole wide world is fast asleep"

He sat in the chair closest to the fire, a glass of strong brandy in his hand, not his first that evening, and surely not his last.

"You lie awake, and think about the girl"

He wondered if she realized she had broken his heart. Then again, it wasn't really his heart, Clarisse had owned it from the word go. His beautiful Queen, forbidden fruit till now, but now forbidden in the worst sense. After the wedding, he would give his resignation.

"And never ever think of counting sheep"

He thought she was ready, willing. With Mia's coronation fast approaching, she would be free to do what she wished for the first time in her life. Obviously, he had no part in that life. Oh how could he have screwed everything up?

"When your lonely heart has learned its lesson"

He loved her with every fiber of his being, would do anything for her and, since it was her wish, stay away from her. He knew what he was getting when he proposed. He had known her for the better part of 40 years. He had seen her dolled up to the nines and with dirt covering her face. Seen her cry from happiness at her sons births and then weep bitterly at a sons funeral. There wasn't much they could hide from each other anymore.

"You'd be hers if only she would call"

It was if someone was standing on his chest, he couldn't breath. It was if his very soul was being crushed. She had this effect every time she came near, except it usually was a pleasant feeling. Now it was torture. He would leave this place soon, and her, never to see either one again. Time would be the only medicine.

"In the wee small hours of the morning"

The day he had hoped would mark a new beginning now marked the end. Of everything.

"That's the time you miss her most of all."

The only sound came from the shattering glass that was thrown in the fireplace.

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Another tear jerker. Thank God we all know it comes out well. Should I do a third instalment about the wedding night?? ;-) Thank You to all who reviewed!

Athenia


	3. Silence and Solitude

Misery of the night

Part 3: Silence and Solitude (Clarisse)

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The next morning, Clarisse looked like hell from lack of sleep. She knew there was much to be done for the wedding today but at the moment, there wasn't anything she wanted to do but curl up in bed and never leave.

"There's a saying old

"Says that love is blind

"Ah Joseph", she thought bitterly. She knew their love was a risk. They were from two different worlds and completely different.

"Still we're often told

"'Seek and Ye Shall Find'

She stepped into the shower and let the hot water pour over her. She missed him already and was about to throw all queenly acts out the window and go fall at his feet.

"So I'm gonna seek a certain lad I've had in mind.

"Lookin' everywhere

"Haven't found him yet

But she couldn't do that. There was too much at stake these days. Her own personal life would have to wait till Mia was securely on the throne for fear someone would take over. Clarisse just hoped that Joseph would take as good of care of Mia as he had her, for she wouldn't be around to witness it. A year at the outside and she would leave her granddaughter to her destiny.

"He's the big affair I could not forget

"Only man I ever think of with regret

Nothing could erase his memory from her mind, no matter how hard she tried. Oh the love and happiness they could have shared!

"I'd like to add his initial to my monogram

"Tell me where is the shepherd for this lost lamb

She had dreamed of their life together. They would be so happy and free. Perhaps they could travel or even simply have a sweet little house together. For him, she would learn how to cook! That dream was washing away as fast as the water in the shower.

"There's a somebody I'm longin' to see

"I hope that he

"Turns out to be

"Someone to watch over me

She knew times would have been rough. Many would have not been open to their marriage, people despised even their friendship. They ignored them, they would have been lost without each others company. They had been the best of friends. None of the past mattered now, nor any of the dreams. 'That's why they call them dreams' Clarisse thought bitterly. 'Because they would never become a reality.'

"I'm a little lamb that's lost in the wood

"I know I could

"Always be good

"To one who'll watch over me.

Love is a very much like a flower, slow to grow and blossom, but easy to crush and destroy through any negligence. Perhaps that's what she did wrong, wasn't attentive enough, ignoring him in favor of all the wedding details. She didn't know. All she knew was her heart would now forever stay firmly locked.

"Although he may not be the man some

"Girls think of as hansom

"To my heart he carries the key

She couldn't afford to let her mind wander to him anymore. She had to face facts. What was done was done and nothing could be changed now. She shut the water off

"Won't you tell him please, to put on some speed

"Follow my lead? Oh how I need

"Someone to watch over me....

She had a wedding to get to. Too bad it wouldn't be her own

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A/N Hahahaha little does she know. I hope you have enjoyed this little entry. All we have left now is Joe's response and the wedding night as asked for. The song is "Someone to Watch Over Me" as done by Rosemary Clooney in the musical "Oh Kay!" and I totally forgot to mention the song last time. It was "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning" as done by Frank Sinatra. Oh and good news. The next chapter of The Winter Visitor will be up as soon as tomorrow or as late as Thursday. Review and tell me what you think!


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